


Forever Might Be Closer Than We Think

by Lynniethebeegirl



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Pain, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-23 13:10:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 10,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4878088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynniethebeegirl/pseuds/Lynniethebeegirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura is severely injured in an explosion, and she and Carmilla are forced to stay with Lafontaine, Perry, and Danny while she recovers. They also need to investigate why Laura hasn't been aging since she met Carmilla. Same universe as 'November Chill'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a quick overview of what they've been doing, later chapters should be more detailed. It's set in the same universe as the other story with Danny.

They’d planned for it. For Laura to age and for Carmilla to stay the same forever. They’d created this nomadic lifestyle, moving from city to city, never staying more than a few months, never returning to the same place twice. Laura would work on journalism projects sometimes, and they’d spend time in Canada with Laf, Perry, and Danny occasionally, but it was solitary for the most part. Laura sent her father clips of the news stories she wrote, and she visited him alone every few weeks, preferring to save him the shock of knowing his daughter was wandering the world with a vampire. 

It was good, though. Laura’s journalism took her into dangerous areas occasionally, Carmilla acting as her bodyguard, and every time the two of them had a near miss they’d take a break for a while to travel or visit friends. It was a comfortable compromise between Carmilla’s desire of Laura’s safety, and Laura’s concern for everyone else’s safety. 

For the first few years they ignore the obvious. Laura’s smooth skin and steadfastly brown hair could just be good genes, or better nutrition now that she was out of the dorms. She laughed it off at first when people commented on it, on how different her face and the age on her passport were, but then the questions become more skeptical, more disbelieving, causing issues at airports and bars.

By the time she was nearing forty she’d given up, getting fake ID’s from the same source Carmilla did, usually based on the drinking age in whatever country they were visiting. She refused to acknowledge it, whatever it was, managing the consequences of her not aging as best she could, and trying to enjoy the benefits.

It couldn’t last though, and one August a terrifying incident while reporting on mine field removal in Columbia sent them back to Laf, Perry, and Danny, unable to deny the situation any longer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla are staying with their friends while Laura recovers, there's a ton of cute hollstein stuff next chapter I promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usually I don't write in third person so tell me if I'm messing it up really badly!

Two weeks after arriving in southern Ontario they still haven’t addressed the issue.

“So not all vampires have the same type of family group?”

“No.”

“What groups are more common?”

“Most vampires are solitary.”

“But what do the ones with families do?”

“Well they tend to mimic what the individual grew up with, so a Mormon Polygamist vampire would most likely seek a different family than someone that grew up in Puritan Massachusetts. At least that’s the way it is with younger vampires. Older ones tend to form their own opinions.”

“So your mother and Will…”

“That was a vampiric power structure. She turned us and then continued to control us. Not exactly a family. Most people that are turned keep the same relationship with the vampire that turned them that they had while human. If a parent was turned by their child they would still be parent and child. If a girl was turned by her lover they still could be lovers.”

“That might put a dent in the relationship though. The biting and everything.” Laf succeeds in making Carmilla laugh a little bit, breaking the clouds of worry that had surrounded her since they’d first seen her at the hospital a few days after Laura was injured.

Laura sits on the couch, occasionally sipping cocoa out of a mug that was slightly too heavy for her shaky hands. It's late September by then, and she's healing slowly, the burns faded but her muscles still weak. Laf had been peppering Carmilla with questions about vampire biology and sociology that evening, gathering information for some sort of project at the lab. Carm had been good natured about it, and Laura suspects that this is good for her, helping to distract her from Laura’s injuries for a little while.

Danny sits on the couch next to Laura, moving JP’s glass of blood to make room for the stack of papers she needs to grade. Laura picks up her cocoa cup to make room, and notices the dark bruises marking Danny’s arms.

“What happened?” Laura puts her cup down carefully and reaches out.

“Some crazy kid at school last week had a go at me. Banged me up a bit.” Danny holds out her arm, and Laura studies the bruises.

“That’s scary. Does that happen a lot?”

“Yeah, sort of.” Danny avoids Laura’s eyes, and Laura scoots back giving her space. “It’s an occupational hazard I guess.”

Laura wraps her blanket tighter around herself, and watches Danny grade her papers. She had always avoided looking super closely at people’s ages, preferring to avoid thinking about the matter altogether, but now she couldn’t ignore it.

Danny’s hair is still vivid red, but her face is creased, sun damage apparent. When she smiles or frowns, crinkles form around her mouth and eyes. Laura had always felt tiny compared to Danny, but this is the first time she feels young.

“Hey. Ready for bed?” Carmilla sits on the arm of the couch, kissing the top of Laura’s head. 

“Okay.” 

“I’m going to go help Perry with the dishes, and then we’ll go down, okay?” Carmilla leaves to help, and Laura looks back at Danny. Six people we’re staying in the house at once, and even with Laura and Carm sleeping in the basement apartment the two bedroom house has four people staying there. Laura does the math for a moment. JP was staying in the guest room, and Laf and Perry had their room, so where was Danny sleeping?

“Danny have you been sleeping on the sofa?” Laura asks, already feeling bad. Danny has all these injuries from school and now Laura and Carmilla have messed up her sleeping arrangements.

“Um…nope…why?”

“Because we’re in the basement and JP has your old room.” There’s a few moments of silence, and Laura sees Danny swallow hard.

“A lot has happened since the last time you were around. Laf, Perry, and I are kind of in a relationship.”

“A relationship?”

“It’s complicated. No…I mean, it’s a relationship. It just is, I guess.”

Laura takes a moment to wrap her head around this, and then nods.

“That’s great. I’m really happy for you.” Laura waits anxiously, and then Danny cracks a small smile.

“Thanks, Laura.”

When Carm is finished with the dishes, she scoops up Laura, blankets and all. Laura wraps her arms around Carmilla’s neck and braces herself as Carm carries her down the steps, gently setting her down on the bed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda snuggly and whatever but next chapter is angstier so watch out!

“Laura?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you.”

“Love you back.” 

Laura catches Carmilla’s hand and kisses her palm. It’s late, hours since they had come downstairs, and neither of them can sleep. Laura is lying on her back, Carmilla running her fingertips along the center of Laura’s chest, tracing a gentle line from her bellybutton to her throat. 

She closes her eyes, lying as still as possible, which isn’t hard. Her bones ache, and any movement sends stabs of pain through her joints. Mornings were usually better, provided she could get to sleep at a reasonable time the night before. This was promising to be a crappy night.

“Is there anything you want? Food? Pain meds? Water?” Carm brushes her hand across Laura’s forehead. The only pain meds that seem to work are the industrial strength ones at the hospital, and now that Laura is at home the ibuprofen isn’t helping much.

“No thanks.” Laura tries to keep her voice steady, but there’s a quaver that she can’t hide. 

“Would a bath help? If you aren’t going to sleep anyway?”

“That would be nice.”

Carmilla kisses Laura, and heads into the bathroom. 

Laura hears water begin to run, and turns her head to look at the rest of the room. There’s not much. A rickety table, a few kitchen chairs, a tiny kitchen area with a fridge and microwave. Painted pale blue, to combat the lack of natural light. It’s the closest thing to home that she’s had in the past few years, but after the past few weeks its beginning to feel like her own personal hell.

“Hey, ready?” Carmilla returns, lifting Laura and carrying her to the bathroom.

The bathroom is dimly lit, painted the same blue as the other room. Carmilla sets Laura down on the toilet seat and helps her undress, before undressing herself. They lie in the tub, Laura’s back against Carmilla’s chest, the water barely covering her.

“Better?” Carm lifts Laura’s arms, gently washing her newly healed skin. Patches are still raw, and others have calluses and wrinkles from the cell growth, but she can go in the water without discomfort. Miles of improvement from the charred mess Laura had been dealing with when she woke up weeks before.

“Yes.” Laura leans back, the water taking some of gravity’s pressure from her bones. The warmth helps too, seeping into her aching muscles. Her head rests against Carmilla’s shoulder, and her eyes drift shut as Carmilla sets down the soap, and rubs small circles across Laura’s stomach.

Laura is nearly asleep by the time the water begins to get cold, and Carm lifts her up, drying her and helping her into an oversized t-shirt. She’s asleep as soon as Carmilla tucks her into bed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a lot of summarizing and some angst and I don't know what the next chapter will be tbh.

The next morning Laura sleeps late, and Carm sits against the wall by her head, keeping watch over her.

Watching Laura sleep is bittersweet. The tension, the caution in every movement is gone, and the pain written across her features during every waking moment is smoothed from her face. She looks at peace, something she hasn’t had since the explosion.

Carmilla runs a finger across Laura’s close cropped hair, trying not to think of the effort it takes for Laura to do even the simplest things. Getting dressed, lifting a mug of tea, even speaking could take so much out of her. 

It had happened in less than a second. If there was a second Carmilla might have been able to do something, but no, it was the smallest fraction of one.

They had been in Columbia, Laura working on a story about children injured by land mines. It had been a week into the assignment, and they’d been traveling fifteen miles or so to another town to meet with a family that had agreed to speak with them.

They’d gotten a ride with an ex-military man headed that way. Neither of them had trusted him much, but Carmilla had made sure he saw her casually bend and snap a piece of rebar while waiting to leave, and he hadn’t tried anything. Carmilla had crawled over what was left of him while she was pulling Laura out, and hadn’t cared much at the moment, but now the thought of how close his shattered skull had been to her face made her stomach clench.

One moment they’d been bumping along, Carmilla with her head out the window, Laura telling her she should put on a seatbelt, unfamiliar rock music being blasted over the speakers. The next Carmilla had been lying on her back a hundred feet away, the blast ringing in her ears.

It had been a blur. Clouds of smoke and fire searing her lungs. Tearing at metal, seat belts, hauling Laura’s mangled body out onto the dirt road. Making the insane jump to Arizona, the jump that could have killed both of them. Lying on the floor with black smoke pouring out of her mouth and nose while Laura was taken away to surgery.

Vampires could jump from place to place, teleport, whatever, over short distances, but what Carmilla had done was dangerous. A jump of more than a hundred miles had the potential to kill or maim even a fairly strong vampire. Hundreds of miles carrying a human was suicide.

She had done it though, appearing in the reception area of the hospital in a cloud of smoke, blood streaming from Laura’s body, clothes still smoldering. The nurses had strapped her down, hooking her up to a machine to suck the smoke from her lungs before the toxins from the underworld could poison her. She still feels it in her sleep sometimes, the pull of the machine, the dry feeling in the center of her chest, surrounding her heart.

The hospital was one of a few that Carmilla knew of, a remote center staffed entirely with vampires. They cared for humans and vampires alike, preforming surgeries at speeds that humans surgeons could only imagine, saving trauma patients that would have died on the table at a human hospital. Mattie had brought her to a similar one in Switzerland following her exhumation in 1943, and she’d returned to many similar ones over the years, following injuries from stupid dares, or wounds inflicted by Mother after failing to follow an order.

It was one of the few places that Carmilla trusted.

After being unhooked from the machine, and after her wounds had been cleaned, she’d called her friends in Canada.

She’d been fine, stone, following simple orders from nurses, asking the questions that needed to be asked, answering the questions that needed to be answered. But Lafontaine’s voice put her over the edge, and she’d slumped against the wall of the phone booth, sobbing, trying to get out enough words.

“Laura’s been hurt and you need us to come get you in Arizona?” Laf had pieced together the broken words, and Carm managed to gasp out a confirmation before hanging up and crouching in the base of the box, trying to get herself together.

That had been nearly two months ago. A split second, a small swerve off road to avoid a person on horseback, and then boom. 

Laura moves a little, nose wrinkling in discomfort. Carmilla kisses her forehead, and tugs the curtains shut a little tighter to keep the light out of Laura’s eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the angst isn't completely over for this thing, but this chapter is a lot more upbeat, even though it's short. The next one is short too but there's a lot of kissing if that's your jam.

Laura wakes up one morning to find Carmilla gone, probably out to get blood. She counts the days quickly, and decides that it’s most likely Sunday, so Laf, Danny, and JP are most likely out on a trip to collect data for one of Laf’s experiments, or to visit Kirsch. Perry might still be home, unless she went with Carmilla or Danny or some other combination. 

Laura drags herself up, limping towards the bathroom. It’s mid-October by now, and she’s healing quickly. She’s walking now, slowly and painfully, but still walking. Carm and Perry don’t think she should walk alone, but she figures that she’ll have to at some point, and her leg muscles aren’t going to build up on their own.

She showers, sitting in the bottom of the bathtub while she washes her hair. Standing up she reaches into the towel closet, gasping as the mirror mounted on the inside of the door swings into view.

Laura hasn’t seen herself in a mirror since the accident. Carmilla and her other friends have been keeping a close eye on her, and all reflective surfaces have been hidden. She assumes they don’t want her to feel bad, but horror isn’t what she feels when she sees her reflection.

She’s still thin, a less pitiful thin than a month ago, but most of her ribs are still faintly visible. Her once charred skin has healed, and is slightly blotchy, her arms, legs, and stomach covered in ripples and spots, and some streaks that remind Laura of flame. Her chest and the lower half of her face had been the only parts of her body spared, and those strange flame marks frame her forehead and lap at her neck.

Her hair is still short, but not the rough buzz cut she’d had when she’d woken up. It can pass for a pixie cut, or maybe slightly punk if she styles it right. 

Between the burns, the weight loss, and the caution in her movements, Laura is almost unrecognizable. The only feature that she can identify is the scar running from high on her chest, down to just above her belly button. It’s wide, slightly bumpy, a little uneven where scars from separate surgeries had overlapped. She runs her thumb down it, the irony making her smile a little. The only patch of skin the fire had spared was already scarred.

She presses her fingers against the hard outline of her pacemaker just below her ribcage. She hasn’t been able to feel it this close to her skin since she was very small, and it’s strangely comforting. Realizing she still had it had been a strange realization when she woke up, everything else about her had been destroyed, but the one thing that she’d always thought of as a sign of weakness was still there, still doing its job to keep her heart beating.

Laura tears herself away, and pulls on some real clothes for the first time in a while. It’s just jeans and a shirt, but even with her muscles protesting the unfamiliar movement, it’s the most comfortable she’s felt since waking up. She’d gotten into the habit of wearing pajamas constantly over the first few weeks, and never really gotten out of it. 

She rests at the table for a few minutes, and then gets up, tackling the issue of the stairs. Normally either Carmilla or Danny would lift her up to carry her down, but she needs to learn to do this for herself. The only way she’s going to get stronger is by moving around, despite how painful it might be. Three or four surgeries had taught her that, and she couldn’t just lie around forever.


	6. Making out. Probably more than necessary.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny isn't dead ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am thirsty and in the ballpit of denial.

She rests at the landing, and pushes forward, finally stumbling into the living room. 

“Laura!” Carm jumps up, checking her for injury at lightning speed. “You should have texted me. I left your phone on the bedside stand.”

“Its fine, I’m fine.” Laura smiles and Carmilla kisses her, running fingers through her wet hair.

“Okay. Just don’t over exert yourself.” Carmilla kisses her forehead and tugs her towards the couch, but Laura shakes her head.

“I’ll be there in a moment. I’m going to get some breakfast first.” Laura kisses Carm on the nose, and heads out to the kitchen.

Just before getting there she hesitates, hearing a sound. Peeking into the room she sees Perry and Danny, Danny pressed up against the cabinets, Perry kissing her. Perry’s arms are wrapped around Danny’s neck, hands tangled in her hair, and Danny’s arms wrapped around Perry’s waist, pulling her up on her toes.

Laura tries to step back and give them some privacy, but her coordination is still off, and she bumps against the wall, alerting Danny and Perry to her presence.

“Sorry.” Perry stumbles away from Danny sheepishly, and Laura laughs.

“Sorry, I just…” She motions at the cereal cabinet, and gets her cereal, Perry leaving to change out of her pajamas, and Danny helping Laura reach the bowls on the top shelf. Laura sneaks as glance at Danny as they sit on the couch on opposite sides of Carmilla, and sees two reddish smudges on her neck. Someone had a fun night.

“Where’s Laf?”

“They left a few minutes ago. JP has court tomorrow, and Laf has the most flexibility with the lab so they’re driving down tonight.” Laura studies Danny’s face and sees the red at the corner of her mouth, the same color that Laf wears when they have to do something official, or at least something where acceptable attire is not a lab coat and safety goggles.

Danny, Laf, and Perry are a hot mess.

Laura finishes her cereal and helps Carmilla clean up the breakfast dishes. Laf and JP had planned to eat on the road, so there’s fairly few.

When they finish it’s still early, not even nine o’clock, and Laura is hit by a small pang of nostalgia.

“Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to go to church.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to get into the vampire biology soon, maybe not next chapter but soon.

Laura had grown up going to church, and still went when she could, which wasn’t often. She would go with her dad, when she was visiting, or sometimes she would get up before Carmilla and walk to one. It was less a truly religious thing, more a relic from the past, when her mother would make them stop on family road trips to explore churches and cemeteries, pointing out the different architecture. 

They borrow Danny’s car, and drive to a town a few miles away, north, a direction they don’t usually go.

The church they find is beautiful, stone walls, stained glass windows. They get there a few minutes after service begins, and stand in the back, unnoticed by most. The songs were simple, hymns sung from worn out books, and the sermon was short, something to do with the book of Genesis. 

While they are inside, dark clouds creep across the sky, and the heavens open up. Thunder echoes against the stone walls, and rain patters against the stained glass. Laura leans against Carmilla, taking some of the weight off her still weak legs. The rain reminds Laura of her first night at home after the accident, how the skies had opened up as the last of the morphine wore off, how even Carmilla’s soft hands couldn’t keep the pain away.

They leave just before the service ends, avoiding the stares of strangers when they wondered what had happened to Laura. Carmilla helps her get to the car as quickly as possible, rain spattering them.

When they get back home Danny and Perry are out. Laura and Carmilla sit at the table, Carmilla sipping from a blood bag, Laura washing down medication with tea that’s slightly too hot. They fend for themselves, trying to be less of a burden to their friends. Carmilla gets her blood from a supplier in Ottowa, an undertaker who packages and sells blood drained from the deceased. It’s not as good as fresh blood, but is generally edible, as long as the supplier has made sure the decedent hadn’t died from any blood related issues. Heart attack victims were the best source, stroke and car accident victims following. Bad blood wouldn’t kill a vampire, but it caused the vampiric equivalent of salmonella food poisoning, which was unpleasant. Carmilla has never had a problem with this supplier though.

Laura keeps bread on hand to make toast, and a few boxes of cereal. Perry insists that she eat dinners with her and Danny, and Laf if they’re home early enough, fussing over whether or not Laura is getting the nutrition she needs to recover. On the weekends she eats breakfast upstairs too, but the rest of the time she and Carm eat in the basement.

The question begins to bother her, the one that she should have asked years and years ago. Why isn’t she aging? Will she ever age? 

“We need to ask Laf to do some research. On the aging thing. Just so we know what’s going on.” Laura tells Carm, putting her cup down. 

“Alright.” Carm takes Laura’s hand, linking their fingers together. “If that’s what you want.”

They’d discussed it once before, years ago, Laura more hesitant than usual about investigating a mystery, and Carmilla telling Laura that delving into vampire biology was a complex and confusing mission that was better left alone. They hadn’t spoken about it again.

“We’ll ask when they get back, okay?”

“Okay.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're starting to investigate Laura's weird anti aging thing now.

Laura lies on her back, a bright light above her, the cold plastic of the table under her.

“Five more minutes Laura, just hang on.” Laf’s voice comes over a speaker next to her head, and she closes her eyes, trying to stay as still as possible. Carmilla had asked her if she wanted her to go with her that day, and Laura had told her to stay home, get some rest. Now she wishes Carm had come. Seven tests, hours lying in whirring tubs, countless needles, several tubes of ultrasound gel, and no food. She’s going to cry if she spends another minute in this place.

A few nights before the gang had assembled. Her, Carm, Laf, Perry, Danny, and JP.

“We were wondering if you’d do testing on me to find out why I haven’t been aging.” Laura had expected Laf to be more interested, since they had been plying Carmilla with questions about vampire physiology for ages, even convincing her to come to the lab for tests. She hadn’t expected uncertainty.

“Well of course you aren’t aging. It goes with the whole super healing thing, right? Being a vampire and everything?” Laf had taken in Laura and Carmilla’s confused faces. “Vampire, vampire, vampire, yeah?” They gestured to Laura, Carmilla, and JP.

“No.” Laura had said softly. “I was never turned. I don’t drink blood.”

“So you just stopped aging?” Laf asked.

“Yep. Not all at once, I don’t think. But before twenty-five, definitely.” Laura moves closer to Carmilla, and Laf looks them both up and down.

“Okay. Tomorrow good, for the lab?”

“Sure.”

Now, three days later, Laura has been through more tests than she cares to count. Lying on the table, she pretends she’s back in her hometown, and her normal, human doctor is running tests. Maybe on her pacemaker, maybe on her heart. Not on bizarre vampire anti-aging magic.

“We’re done!” Laf opens the door, and Laura slowly sits up, and tries to stand. “Hey, Laura, you don’t look so good. Jeep, we need some help!”

JP and Laf lift Laura into a wheelchair and bring her into the warm office, where cocoa and cookies await. 

“Danny is going to pick you up after work, and then I’m going to go over your test results. Do you need anything? Water? A blanket?” Laf hovers around Laura, helping her into her regular clothes. Laura has never thought of Laf as being the hovering type, but she’s grateful for the help. Even with her continued improvement, simple tasks are difficult, especially after hours of tests.

“I’m okay, really.” Laura lifts herself out of the wheelchair to sit on the bench by the window. 

“Are you sure?” Laf asks, but is derailed by Danny opening the door.

“Everything go okay?” Danny loops an arm around Laf’s shoulders and gently squeezes. “Anything weirder than the usual?”

“Nope. Not yet. JP and I still have data to go over though.”

“Well there’s still hope then.” Danny plants a kiss on Laf’s forehead. “I’m bringing Laura home so she can get some sleep. Don’t stay here too late.”

“Science never sleeps.” 

“But you need to, and the science will still be here in the morning.” Danny helps Laura stand, and escorts her out to the car. The parking lot is drab, gray buildings surrounding the dingy patch of pavement. The complex is an extension of the vampire hospitals Laura and Carmilla had visited over the years, but this one has a particular focus on research, taking on strange cases such as JP and Laura, as well as other, non-vampiric creatures.

On the highway, Laura picks up the courage to ask a question.

“Danny?”

“Yeah?”

“Last night, really late, I heard a weird noise. It sounded like screaming, and not the fun kind either. Is everything okay?” Laura watches Danny out of the corner of her eye, regretting opening her mouth when Danny swallows hard.

“I still have a lot of nightmares about Silas. About the Dean and the sword and everything. Last night was a bad one.” Her hands clutch the steering wheel, knuckles white. “I started panicking, and that set off Perry. She had kind of a breakdown.”

“But is everything okay now?”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re fine. We’ll be fine. We’ve gotten this far, haven’t we?” Danny smiles reassuringly at Laura, but the best Laura can manage is a thin, forced smile. Waking up after taking a stake to the chest hadn’t been fun, and had been made even less so by having to face what had happened to Danny and the rest of her friends. Danny had been mutilated, cursed sword tearing her chest and arms to shreds. Perry’s scars were mostly internal, the Dean’s possession left her empty and paranoid, scars marking her throat and wrists where she had tried to destroy the body the Dean was using. Laf and Kirsch had the aftereffects of anglerfish possession to deal with, as well as injuries from the restraints preventing them from injuring their friends.

Despite reassurance from her friends, and a now significantly wider view of the situation she had been in, Laura still blames herself for the destruction. She knows it’s irrational, but doesn’t know how to forgive herself. 

“Hey.” Danny pulls into the driveway, stopping the car. “You have to stop blaming yourself for what happened. We all had our own parts in it, and none of us knew how it would go down. The best we can do now is just move on.”

“It’s not that easy.” Laura knows she’s preaching to the choir, but she feels helpless against the tide of guilt.

“I know. But we’ve got each other. You have Carmilla, I have Laf and Perry. We can do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want more cute Laura/Carmilla scenes, or more in depth vampire biology, or whatever!


	9. Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm such trash nobody even look at me rn.

Carmilla stands next to the bed, changing into her pajamas. She’s unclasping her bra when soft hands brush hers out of the way, undoing the clasp for her. She lets her arms drop, the straps sliding down her arms to fall to the floor. Laura’s arms wrap around her, pulling Carmilla backwards against her.

“Hey.” Laura’s breath is warm against Carmilla’s neck, and Carmilla relaxes against her.

“Hey.”

Carmilla turns in Laura’s arms, kissing her, and Laura gently pushes her backwards onto the bed, fumbling with the buttons on her own shirt. Carmilla helps her, and then closes her eyes as Laura leans over her kissing her lips, then her neck, one hand tracing the curves of Carmilla’s body.

When Laura brushes a finger just under the edge of Carmilla’s waistband, Carmilla takes her hand, stopping her.

“Laura?” They haven’t done this since before the accident. Laura had wanted to, after they’d gotten home, but Carmilla had refused, worried that Laura would be hurt, and neither had mentioned it since.

“I’m sure.” Laura’s voice is soft and low above Carmilla. “But only if you’re comfortable with it.” 

Carmilla reaches up, pulling Laura down, feeling her full weight against her, soft lips against her own. She’s missed this contact, not holding back.

She feels Laura’s hands glide across her skin, along her ribs, her breasts, pressing just above her waistband, below her bellybutton. Laura’s breathing becomes shaky and ragged when Carmilla kisses her neck, then lower, leaving marks on her body.

When Carmilla slides Laura’s pajama pants off there’s a moment of uncertainty, Carmilla staring up at her. Laura nods slightly, and Carmilla slides a hand between her legs, watching her face. Her mouth opens slightly, eyes drifting shut as Carmilla moves her fingers in slow circles. 

Laura’s body tenses against her, and Carmilla thinks back to when the slightest movement- a step down stairs, a bump against a table- would cause Laura to close her eyes and bite her lip, not wanting Carmilla to see how much pain she was in. This is so far from where they’d been.

Carmilla watches Laura, watches how her eyes shut tightly, how her jaw clenches, how her hands clench the sheets by Carmilla’s head. Carmilla can hear her heart racing, feel her warmth. Laura’s never been loud, but small gasps squeak out of her.

Laura slumps against Carmilla, and Carmilla holds her while she recovers, small tremors rocking her still fragile body. She’s survived so much since Carmilla’s known her, and Carmilla touches the burn marks on Laura’s back reverently, the mottled scars rough beneath her fingers. When Laura opens her eyes she looks dazed, staring wide eyed at Carmilla.

“Are you okay?” Carmilla asks, kissing her forehead. Laura nods, and smiles, kissing her back.

When Carmilla feels Laura’s hand between her legs she closes her eyes, letting the sensation flood her body. Her heart patters, and she draws slow breaths, trying to keep from moaning. Laura’s breath is hot on her cheek, and Laura’s weight on her, and the pressure between her legs…

Carmilla gasps, doubling over, small whimpers coming from her mouth. Laura’s arms wrap around her, steadying her, but her head spins for what feels like hours, and the heat from her core pours into the rest of her body, sending her shaking.

She lies back against the sheets, and realizes that tears are smeared across her face, and small sobs are shaking her body.

“Carm? What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did I…?” Carmilla shakes her head, reaching up to pull Laura down, kissing her, then holding her close. 

“There were so many times I thought I’d lost you.” Carmilla whispers, and after months of compartmentalizing, the pain of Laura almost dying hits her head on. “I thought I lost you.”

Carmilla feels Laura’s arms wrap around her, and she lets herself cry, tears sliding across her face, or smearing on Laura’s shoulder. Laura’s fingers trace patterns on Carmilla’s back, and Carmilla clings to her, determined to never let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was my first time writing that kind of stuff, so hopefully it wasn't too atrocious.


	10. Vampire biology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last time I took bio was like three years ago, but here's some vampire biology.

“There’s a few things I found, some things are probably related to the dextrocardia, some probably have something to do with the anti-aging thing. I’ll need to do more tests to know for sure.”

“Can you tell us anything so far?” Everyone is assembled around the kitchen table, Laf with their laptop of data. Laura looks over their shoulder, recognizing most of the medical words, but stumped by a few.

“So besides the structural anomalies that were there before I found some cellular changes. The telomeres at the end of the chromosome are longer than they would be for someone in her forties.” Laf looks at the confused faces, and then clarifies. “A telomere is a structure at the end of a chromosome that gets shorter with replication. It controls aging.”

“So is that what’s doing it?” Laura asks. Laf shrugs.

“Essentially. But Carmilla and JP also have telomeres that are long, so it doesn’t explain why you aren’t a vampire. Now you also have other vampiric qualities such as a constant rate of cell division and death-slightly higher than a normal twenty-year old, which I’m placing your biological age at, based on the telomeres. You don’t drink blood though, and your digestive system is fairly close to a normal human’s, except for the pre-existing anomalies.”

“So why am I like this?” 

“I don’t know. Becoming a vampire involves literally dying and being brought back with dark magic. The stake to the chest nearly killed you, despite being on the left side, while your heart is on the right. I was unconscious when that happened so I don’t know specifics but…”

“The blood transfusion.” JP speaks up from his spot sitting on the counter. 

“The blood transfusion?” Laf asks. “When?”

“When Laura tried to save me.” Carmilla speaks quietly, and everyone watches her, silent. “She was staked, and lost a lot of blood. We were trapped in the old dorm building, in the med center. The blood bags were all gone, we’d been trapped there for days. There was equipment from a blood drive, so we took some out of my veins to try to save her. We didn’t know if it would work, but it did.”

“The blood that you consume goes into your blood vessels.” Laf says, realization dawning. “There must be proteins attached to the blood cells, or in the plasma, that caused some sort of permanent change. Probably affecting the bone marrow first, then the rest of the body’s cells. That would explain the changes in cell division and chromosome length.” 

“So she accidently half turned me into a vampire?” Laura is caught between fascinated and practical. She needs to memorize her medical charts, add it to her medical dog tag in case…no. She’s not quite human anymore.

“I can’t say yet. I need to do more tests. Tomorrow, maybe? And then another few days to look at results.”

“Not tomorrow.” Carmilla says. “Laura needs rest.”

“Okay. Next week, then.” Laf closes the laptop, and everyone begins to disperse. It’s late, not excessively, but if people are going anywhere, it’s going to be bed.


	11. I won't be there to see it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of vampire biology.

“It was definitely the blood transfusion. Nothing else could have caused the proteins to spread in that way. They had to have started in the blood, impacting the function of bone marrow cells, then the blood cells produced by those cells began to spread the protein to other cells.” Laf sits across from Laura and Carmilla, having shoed Perry and Danny out for a while. Laura and Carm needed time to discuss this before the peanut gallery began nitpicking.

“So I caught some sort of vampire disease?” Laura doesn’t sound upset, but Laf sees Carmilla wince.

“Nope, it’s not a virus. A virus has DNA, and is actively trying to infect its host. Vampirism isn’t like that. When magic is used to bring back someone who has been dead, it goes against biological processes. Something dead can be used to build something alive, but it can’t live itself. All vampire biology is a chain reaction of modifications to accommodate for this. The return of mitosis and aptosis at abnormal but constant rates is part of this. The telomeres never get any shorter because the cells have already died, so they don’t need to be programmed to age.”

“So it’s dark magic.” Carmilla mutters. 

“It’s a byproduct of magic, which has more to do with physics than biology.” Laf looks to Laura, who seems more fascinated than upset.

“So it’s not going to kill me then.” 

“If you’ve lived for twenty years like this it shouldn’t. The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to have children. I don’t know what that would do.”

“So can other people be turned like this? Why aren’t there more people like me?” 

“I’m not sure yet. Evidence points to the volume of blood lost. It was more than a human could survive loosing without intervention, so the blood transfusion overwhelmed your body. If you lost less than fifty percent of blood volume I don’t think this would have happened. Your cells would have weathered the interruption and continued to replicate normally.” Laf notices Carmilla’s face pale when Laura’s near death experience is mentioned, and steers the discussion away.

“Either way, you’re fine now. You could live forever this way. You might, actually. I won’t be around to see.” Laf regrets the words as Laura’s face falls. Immortality has its own set of consequences. They take the phone ringing as a way out of the situation, leaving Laura and Carmilla to absorb the news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda think the next chapter will be focusing more on the Laf/Carmilla friendship, and also Carmilla's backstory. There might be a slight rape trigger warning depending on your interpretation of episode 30.


	12. Death has already changed us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is honestly kind of disturbing and I'm not sure what I was thinking writing this. Trigger warning for rape, torture, miscarriage, and gore.

“Try to stay still, I can’t get a clear picture if you keep moving.” Laf moves the dials, squinting at the dim screen. Carmilla and Laura had gone to visit Laura’s father for the first time since the accident that day, and were planning on heading out early the next morning to see Kirsch. Laf had asked Carmilla if she would be willing to have a few more tests done, and she had agreed, hence the late night at the lab.

“Carmilla?” Laf doesn’t hear an answer and leans closer to the microphone on the wall. “You alright?” There’s no answer, but sobs come across the line.

Laf shuts the MRI down, opening the door and switching on the light. Carmilla is lying on the table, shaking. 

“Are you okay?” Laf helps Carmilla up, and then waits while Carmilla vomits in a trash can, wiping tears from her face.

There’s a conference room in the back of the building, rarely used for actual meetings but still useful for some things. Laf makes Carmilla sit down, and turns on the space heater, blasting it in Carmilla’s direction until she stops shivering. 

“You okay now?” Laf sits across from Carm, watching how she still sits doubles over in the chair, arms covering her stomach. Her skin is pale, stretched tight over already bony features. They’re alone in the facility, and even though Laf trusts Carmilla, they’re still uneasy alone with a hungry vampire.

“I’m sorry.” Carmilla mumbles. “It’s been awhile, that’s all. I thought I’d gotten past it.”

“It?” 

“The coffin.” Carmilla wipes her face, and doesn’t elaborate until she sees the confused look on Laf’s face. “Laura didn’t feel the need to blab my impressive tragic backstory everywhere then.”

“Tragic backstory then.” Laf sits back, relieved by the return of Carmilla’s snark. “Spill.”

“Nah.”

“Hey, I figured out what was up with Laura. I should know a thing or two about who she’s running around with.” 

“Well it’s going to be a long night then.”

“Fine.” Laf has always been curious about Carmilla’s story, but had heeded Laura’s warnings about prying. Mostly. Sometimes.

*****

“I grew up in Styria, in the late 1600’s. My family was wealthy, and I was the oldest daughter of a powerful father. Marriages back then were more unions of families than individuals, and I was promised in marriage to Baron Vordenburg, whom my father sought an alliance with. On my eighteenth birthday, he arrived at my home to formally propose and seal the betrothal.” Carmilla hesitates and crunches further into her seat.

“I refused to accept his proposal, and attempted to leave the ball. He followed me, and killed me. I woke up in a dark dungeon, alone, in pain, unbearable thirst and hunger overriding all other thoughts. The first person I saw, I killed, feeding until I was restrained. I was held in the Baron Vordenburg’s dungeon for several days until I was able to break free, killing everyone in the castle. I wandered the countryside alone and terrified for days, until Mother found me. 

She took me in, taught me to control my hunger, gave me opportunities I never would have had. I was educated in Paris. I saw the Atlantic ocean. I saw soaring mountains and vast deserts. It was as if I was trapped in a strange dream. I had a new sister, Matska, who taught me to hunt, to kill.”

“What about your birth family?”

“After the Vordenburgs were killed, it was assumed by many of their allies that my family had sought revenge and killed them. They used the Vordenburg’s murder as an excuse to attack them, killing every single one. I had no home to return to, so I followed Mother and Matska everywhere, alone except for them. 

Then the sacrifices started. Mother would leave me at a home with a young woman, and it was my job to earn her trust, and then deliver her to Mother. I suspected that they were killed, but couldn’t bring myself to care. A year or so doing this, a few girls sent away, and I would be allowed to return to my studies. It continued like this for nearly a century, me taking girls, Mother killing them. I was useful to her, close friendships between young women were seen as benign, had I been a man they would have suspected treachery.”

Carmilla closes her eyes, and Laf watches her, silent. They hadn’t expected her to give up her story that easily.

“In the late sixteenth century I was assigned to bring in a girl named Mary. I befriended her, gained her trust. She…she wasn’t like Laura or Ell. But I cared for her, and when Mother began preparing arrangements for her to be taken, I went and pleaded with her. I asked her to spare Mary. In that moment everything went dark, and when I awoke I was standing over my friend’s body with blood streaming down my face and her throat torn out.”

“Oh god.” Laf whispers. They had always wondered why Carmilla had insisted on spending so much time caring for Perry following her possession. Carmilla knew what Perry had been through.

“That was the first of many times. After seeing what Mother was capable of I attempted to leave her. Every action I took, every elaborate plan, she intercepted. I’d awake with an entire village slaughtered at my feet, my bones broken after a jump off a building. Vampires can bear children, and though she wouldn’t risk losing me to childbirth she would have me become pregnant, and then torture me until I lost the child.

I gave up, eventually, but when I met Ell in 1872 I attempted to save her. I failed, and was tortured and locked away in a coffin full of blood. Decades rotting in complete darkness, rancid blood filling my lungs. When I escaped in 1945 I fed on the soldiers and victims alike before collapsing. Mattie found me, and nursed me back to health.”

Carmilla is quiet, and Laf waits until they’re sure she’s done speaking.

“That’s horrible.” Everything Carmilla has just told them makes them want to vomit. They’d known it had been bad, they’d seen the fractures on Carmilla’s bones during x-rays, and Laura had told them that Carmilla’s mother had done that. Not how though, not how far it had gone.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More really disturbing stuff. Trigger warning for miscarriage and gore.

“I’ve noticed.” Carmilla has a grim smirk on her face, some strange appreciation of irony. “What disturbed you most?”

“The pregnancies.”

“Yeah.” Carmilla watches Laf, no malice in her eyes. “Which one of you was it?”

Laf closes their eyes, wondering how Carmilla knows. It was so recent and far at the same time, but still painful.

“Perry. A year ago.” Laf whispers, barely meeting Carmilla’s eyes. Carmilla nods.

“How was she after?”

“It was awful.” Laf thinks back to the bleeding, the ambulance, the sonogram that had confirmed there was no heartbeat. “You wouldn’t want to hear about it.

“Tell me.” Carm whispers. Laf hadn’t wanted to talk about it again, it was hard enough telling close family, telling anyone else had seemed like unnecessary pain.

“It was late, but not late enough to be viable. Eighteen weeks, maybe. I was just coming home from the lab, and there was an ambulance in the driveway. Perry had started bleeding on the toilet, Danny had called an ambulance. We went to the hospital, they did a sonogram, and he was dead.” 

“Which one of you told her?”

“We…we were both there. They had to do an abortion to get the remains out and she was in a lot of pain and didn’t know what was going on. She kept on saying she didn’t want to kill him, and we had to tell her he was already dead.”

“How was Danny?” 

“She stayed with her the whole time. She held her hand. It was horrible.” Laf sees Carmilla’s face tighten, and realizes that when Carmilla had gone through this she hadn’t had anyone by her side. Just the person torturing her.

“How are they dealing with Laura’s stuff?”

“Danny is okay. She always knew Laura becoming immortal was a possibility.” Laf is thrown by the change in direction of the conversation, but relieved. They don’t want to think about that anymore.

“Perry?”

“I don’t know. She’s upset. She knows that it’s really tough to outlive someone you thought would be around most of your life. She’s worried about how Laura will do after we die. She’s already worried about how Mel will do when Kirsch dies.”

“How soon, do they think?” 

“A few more years, not more than three or four. He can still talk and eat a little. Most of his motor control is shot though.” Kirsch had been diagnosed with ALS several years ago, and was now wheelchair bound, dependent on Mel for even the most basic tasks. He had mouth and throat control, and could breathe and eat, but soon even that would disappear.

“Is it the sword that’s doing this? To Perry, to Kirsch?” Laf asks Carmilla.

“Maybe. I don’t know. This stuff happens to normal humans too. They were exposed, though. It could be.” 

Following the battle, Danny and Perry had both had seizures caused by residual curses from the sword. Laf had made a concoction that stopped the seizures in both of them after few weeks, but it had given them a newfound respect for tampering with the unknown. Some things shouldn’t be messed with, at least not alone.

“Do you think it’s possible to use Laura’s blood to save more people?” 

“No.” Laf doesn’t ask Carmilla to elaborate. If Laura approaches them with questions about it they’ll help, but other than that they won’t pry. Nearly loosing Perry and Danny had been scary enough. Seeing Kirsch slowly dying, Perry losing the baby, Danny waking up screaming every few nights; that had been horrible. For every action there is a reaction, and for supernatural problems, a chain of them. Some things could be investigated. Some couldn’t.


	14. immortality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I'm thinking of beginning to wrap this fic up, so if there's anything else you want me to cover let me know!

By winter Laura is well enough to travel, and they leave. It’s unsafe for them to stay in the same place for too long, especially if they’ll be returning later, and Carmilla is restless. She sees Kirsch dying, and everyone else dying too, just not as quickly. She can’t stay here like this, and JP has already left. It’s for the best, she thinks. Maybe.

The first night away she and Laura are in southern Pennsylvania, in a dingy motel trying to get their wits about them. Laura sits on the bed listlessly, not in her usual whirlwind of plans and ideas.

“Hey.” Carmilla next to her, smoothing her hair back. “You okay?”

“No.” Laura shrugs, and swallows, blinking back tears. “Kirsch is going to die. They’re all going to die. I’m going to see them die. All of them. How can I do that? How can I just…” She trails off, and Carmilla takes her hands.

“I’m not going to lie and say it’s easy. It’s not. It’s horrible. But if they accept their mortality then it’s our obligation to respect it. Not everyone can live forever, and not everyone wants to. It’s a choice at some point that we make.”

“I asked them if they wanted to be be turned.”

“I know.” Carmilla whispers. “Perry told me.”

“She doesn’t want to be turned, and Laf and Danny won’t leave her.”

“I know.”

“I’m not going to leave you.”

“Laura…”

“I won’t.” 

They sit in silence until Laura leans forward and wraps her arms tightly around Carmilla, pulling her down on top of her. Carmilla closes her eyes, breathing in the scent of Laura’s skin, listening to the whoosh of her heart.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda lame writing wise, the next one will cause pain though.

They wander from city to city, sometimes meeting Mattie for a few weeks in Paris, sometimes stopping so Laura can do a journalism project. Laura’s father begins to suspect that Laura is hiding the truth about her life, and she comes clean about it. She doesn’t expect him to react well. She expects disbelief, but he just nods.

“I worked at one of the vampire run hospitals for a few months after college. Computer programming, nothing interesting. They’d let a few humans work there while it was being transferred from the original human hospital. Your mother and I were in that group, she was my eyes and I was her legs. That was one of the reasons we were chosen I think, because they needed humans that someone could discredit with prejudice.”

“Mom knew they existed too? Does Aunt B?” Laura’s mother had died from surgery complications when Laura was two, and since then her Aunt Beatrice had lived with Laura’s father, helping with blindness related issues, and helping to raise Laura. Laura has never considered that her parents might be among the few humans that knew about vampires.

“Part of the reason she took the job was because she thought the vampires would be able to repair her spine. Your mother first alerted me to the fact that they were vampires when she saw their super speed, and after a while their strange behaviors began to make sense. Your behaviors were different, but close enough recently. ” 

“So you knew the whole time? You could have asked me, if I knew you knew about vampires I would have told you everything.”

“It’s dangerous for humans and vampires to have too much interaction, for each group really. It was best for us not to have too much information about what the other knew.”

“But that’s over now.”

“Yes.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is really sad, and I probably only have a few more planned after this, so heads up. Trigger warning for suicide I guess, and major character death.

Kirsch dies five years later. They’d known it was coming for the past few months, but when Danny calls Laura to tell her it’s still heartbreaking.

“Mel and the kids were with him. It was peaceful. There wasn’t any pain.” 

“When is the funeral?”

“Next Thursday.”

“We’ll be there.”

Laura’s father dies a few years later, the same cancer that had taken is eyesight at birth returning and killing him within months. Laura ‘the grandaughter’ stays with him constantly, and arranges the funeral services with her aunt. It’s painful, but he had lived a long life. Laura tries to keep it together, but after the last few weeks of caring neighbors and nosy clergy she and Carmilla take off as soon as the funeral is over. Her aunt will keep everything, it’s best that way.

*******  
“Laura?”

“Hey, what’s up? How’s everyone doing? How’s retirement?” Laura paces in a campground in southern Florida, waiting for Carmilla to get back from a run out to buy blood. 

“You need to come home?” Danny’s voice is soft but strained, a little rough around the edges. She’s been crying recently.

“Danny? What’s wrong?” Laura begins to feel the familiar panic. Danny, Laf, and Perry are all nearing seventy by now. They aren’t young anymore.

“It’s Perry. The curses from the sword started up again and she’s sick.”

“Sick? So how bad is it? Is she going to get better?”

“We took her to the hospital in Ottowa. They did everything, ran so many tests.” There’s a moment of quiet, Danny’s shaky breath over the phone, the soft crunch of leaves under Laura’s feet as she paces anxiously. When the voice returns it’s small, like a thin pane of glass about to shatter. “Laura, she’s dying.”

****

Perry is lying in a hospital bed near the window, black veins running along her neck, her hands. Her breath is shallow, and her eyes are wide and scared, mouth clamped shut in pain. Laura takes her hand.

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“It hurts.” Her voice is broken, the words gasping out painfully.

“I know.”

 

“I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too.” Laura cradles Perry’s wrinkled hand in hers, and tries to memorize her. Her face, her hair, everything. 

 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Perr.” Laura kisses her forehead, and leaves, making it to the door before the first tears start.

Perry dies later that afternoon. She’d asked to be alone with Laf and Danny for a while, and when Laura and Carmilla get back from the funeral home, where they’d been helping to make arrangements, she’s passed.

When the morgue truck comes to take her, Danny doesn’t wait for them to come in with their stretcher and body bag. She lifts her up gently, and carries her out. 

****

Danny and Laf go a few years later, together. The curses had caught up with Danny by then, and the pain was too much. Laf had been recently diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimers disease, and wasn’t willing to die that way.

It’s a double suicide, two cups of a lethal drug, an empty house to avoid anyone being suspected of murder. When Laura and Carmilla return the next morning, Laf and Danny are lying peacefully side by side, holding hands. The scribbled note on the bedside table reads 11:08 pm.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week's round of double updates are brought to you by impending college app deadlines and procrastination.

Laura is exhausted. Burned out. Empty. Loosing Laf and Danny had been the match to a girl made out of straw, and now there’s nothing but ashes. She wanders restlessly, sitting silently in stone churches hoping for a whisper from the people she’s lost, kneeling in canyons hoping for an echo.

Carmilla follows silently, watching her cave into herself. She remembers the pain and isolation, how humanity had reeked of death to her, how she’d been unable to look a human in the eyes without the stabbing reminder that if she stayed with them she would see them die. 

After Mel dies, there’s nothing tying Laura to humanity. There’s Mel’s daughters and their children and grandchildren, but they don’t need Laura. Laura’s aunt is dead, all living cousins distant by now. Carmilla sees Laura fade, sees her flinch away from every human they meet, sees her melt into the stone walls of churches, the nicotine streaked walls of motel rooms. 

She suggests that Laura leave humanity for a while, join one of the vampire strongholds of North America. Laura half a century ago would have refused, dragging Carmilla on a quest to help people, to do some good in the world. This Laura, broken, lying limply in a motel room in Denver, she nods weakly.

There’s more than a dozen vampire villages in the United States. A mass exodus of european vampires in the 1600’s had settled in the Midwest to avoid humans, creating their own societies. 

Some are research facilities, human scientists mingling with the undead. Laura nixes that immediately. No mortals. 

Most are deep in the mountains, modeled after the European cities the vampires had fled from. More modern sections of the city go as far as the early 1900’s. Laura is close to a century old by now, but still feels out of place in the old areas, the world hasn’t left her lifetime entirely. 

The city they chose is in the desert, underground. Cracks in the hard crust of the soil plunge deep into the earth, where the vampires have carved out pockets of stone. Rooms, libraries, wide open spaces, full of light and sound. It’s a blend of nature and the modern age, wires and cables bolted to the stone to give electric light and wifi to the inhabitants, worn wood doors covering the round gaps in the wall that connect the sleeping quarters to the paths leading to the forum.

Carmilla watches Laura slowly heal from the wounds of humanity, watches her eyes widen with wonder when she sees the desert sky at night, watches as the color returns to her cheeks and the excitement to her voice. 

They meet other human vampire combinations. A woman who received a transplanted heart from a vampire that had been killed in a car crash. More blood transfusion people, a girl who had been turned while in a coma, not quite dead and not quite alive. They’re all immortal, for better or for worse, and Laura finds comfort in their similar existence. 

There’s support there, vampires entering their first century, seeing the people they’d lived with die. It’s a pain even the older vampires can relate too, a true departing from the realm of the living. 

One night, as Carmilla lies with her hands tangled in Laura’s hair, Laura’s lips on her neck, she’s struck by the reality of it all. Here she is, and here Laura is. Together, in this world, in this moment. Living and breathing, hearts beating, eyes meeting, a beautiful coincidence of the universe.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's another update bc I have three tests tomorrow and college apps due next Sunday.

They spend nearly half a century there, until Laura can’t do it anymore. It’s not living, and it’s not dying. It’s null, a healing sort of null, but Laura has never been one to remain fixed in time.

She and Carmilla wander constantly, sometimes stopping somewhere for a few days so Laura can rest. The world is quickly changing, and Laura has given up following what’s happening, she only knows that there’s still pain in the world, still death, and that someone needs to do something, so why not her.

Centuries pass, and the world Laura knew fades, but she still helps where she can, even when she doesn’t understand why. It’s been centuries, and she’s still Laura Hollis, even with the innocence and naivety stripped away by the years. She works, and she helps, and sometimes Carmilla needs to drag her away from a corpse she’s still desperately trying to revive, a town where no amount of goodness can save anyone. She works, she helps, because that’s all she knows, her loyalty has always been humanity, even when it seems gone.

They watch the world crumble, bombs falling from the stars, cities disappearing in smoke and ash. Smoke blocks the sun, and ice creeps across the earth, sending humans scurrying to the equator. The ones that stay are plagued by pestilence and starvation, war as factions try to overpower each other. 

Two women wander through the wreckage, wander through what’s left. They sleep in abandoned buildings, under the concrete slabs that used to be cities. One kills, drinking the blood of the survivors, and one scavenges food where she can. 

The stars are gone, disappearing behind a thick blanket of the ashes of the dead. The world is dead, the vampire cities abandoned, Mattie trapped in Europe, an ocean away. 

It’s death, surrounding them, weighing down every footstep, every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter is the next one, and I made myself cry writing it so have fun.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to rewrite the ending to make it a happy one. I'm going to post the sad one in a different fic if you still want to read it. Thank you for reading the fic and sending all the nice messages, I hope you liked it!

It’s been centuries, and the small house is still standing. JP, with some limited magic, has kept it from deteriorating, and Carmilla and Laura return periodically. The walls have faded to gray, the floors streaked with radioactive dust, but it’s still the closest thing to home any of them has.

The vampire strongholds are still out there, but Laura wouldn’t be able to live there. They’ve stopped bringing in human food, the only source of nutrition is from the machines that make synthetic blood. It’s been decades since anyone has left or entered the tunnels. The house is the only place they have, unless they return to wandering.

They sleep there, they spend the days wandering to the ruins of Ottowa and the surrounding towns. There’s old cans of food for Laura to scavenge, and small animals for Carmilla and JP to hunt. It’s peaceful, lonely, but peaceful. 

The sky is gray, the trees are gray, the snow is gray. Whenever there’s any rain they try to scrub the floor and the gray water just seeps deeper into the worn wood.

“Perry would have hated this.” Laura says one day, sloshing water across the kitchen counters.

“Totally.” Carm laughs, wiping the kitchen table. “I can just hear her. ‘oh no there’s radiation on the carpet’.”

They’re both silent for a few minutes. If Perry had been upset, Laf would have tried to calm her down first, probably by explaining about radiation half-lives, until Danny intervened and sent Laf out until she got Perry calmed down.

Laura hasn’t though about them in decades. They’ve been in her mind, of course. This drawer was where Perry kept the cereal. This room was where Laf had worked on science experiments. Danny had stayed in this room for a while before she got involved with Laf and Perry.

She hasn’t thought about the way Laf’s voice had sounded when Laura had first woken up after the land mine. She hasn’t remembered the way Danny had hugged her, lifting her off her feet, every time they saw each other. She hadn’t remembered Perry forcing her to eat like five gallons of chicken soup that one time Laura had caught the flu while staying there.

“I miss them.” Laura whispers.

“I miss them too.” Carmilla gets up, and takes Laura’s hand. “I know it’s been a while.”

“It still hurts.” Laura’s back is against the counter, and she looks up at Carmilla. She remembers the way Danny had carried Perry out of the house for the last time, kissing her forehead before lying her in the body bag. She remembers Laf helping Danny eat when the pain from the curses was so bad she could barely move. Losing them should be a distant pinprick, compared to what Laura has seen, but it still makes her chest ache when she thinks about their deaths.  
“I know.” 

“They had each other. They always did. They still do.” 

“We have each other.” Carmilla kisses Laura, and Laura clings to her, cheeks slightly pink against the persistent gray of the world.


End file.
